When cancel culture comes for the Chiefs, here are 5 new nicknames

It seems to be battling the inevitable at this point. If the last few years have told us anything it’s that eventually the beloved Chiefs nickname will have to be retired. As I type this, Alyssa Milanio is likely assembling a SWAT team that will come at this franchise like Barney Ross and “The Expendables.”

With sports franchises everywhere running from anything to do with Native American images, slogans, imagery etc eventually the Chiefs will be next on the chopping block. In the past year, the NFL’s Washington Redskins dropped having a team name all together for the time being and Cleveland’s baseball team is attempting to trademark a name that has already been trademarked.

The Chiefs’ one chance of survival certainly rests in the slight ambiguity of the name itself. “Chief,” as we know, was the nickname given to former Kansas City Mayor Harold Bartle and also used when speaking of a fire or police chief. The arrowhead logo will eventually have to go, of course, but the team COULD possibly be able to keep the name based on those technicalities.

Should the bell eventually toll on the Kansas City Chiefs (a franchise which has been around since 1962 in KC) we better get out ahead of this and find a suitable replacement.

Fountains

Kansas City is the “city of fountains” after all and nothing would symbolize city unity, togetherness and inclusion like a fountain logo with people standing hand-in-hand like the Hands Across America idea from the 80’s.

Red Wolves

Back in 2008, Arkansas State University famously went from being the Indians to the Red Wolves. This would be a seamless transition here in Kansas City as KC Wolf is already established as one of the NFL’s most recognizable mascots. We could have a problem here should anyone that’s ever been bitten by a werewolf catches wind of this and becomes offended.

Noise

142.2 decibels folks. Kansas City football fans are more proud of this number than some people are of their vaccine cards. Imagine the PA announcer booming “It’s time to bringggggg the NOISSSSSSEEEEE!” on a key 3rd and 10? Wow, goosebumps!

Kansas City Chefs

For those of us that were fans in the 90’s, it would hit us right in our feels.

Smoke

I was told there needed to be some sort of BBQ reference here so, enjoy. You know, like the smell of smoked ribs wafting through the parking lot as you enter the stadium or just insert Arrowhead tailgating clichè here.

Missourians

The Dallas Texans were established in 1952 by Lamar Hunt. Strangely, the name still lives on in Houston, but what a coupe for those that live and pay taxes in Missouri to have the team named after them? Sure, it would confuse those in the national media and establishing what an average Missourian looks and acts like might be a challenge.